Yes...it's been quite a while, but I decided I'd start blogging again, since I have thoughts. Not that I haven't been having thoughts while I haven't been blogging, but you know what I mean!
Freshman year of colly all finished! It's so strange, I almost feel like it's last summer and I haven't even gone to college yet...Marysville is boring. I like being home and getting to spend time with my family, but I just don't feel like I have much to do here.
I feel like I'm in an awkward phase where I'm growing up but I'm still so dependant on my parents and I don't know how to have my own my life! But then I realized: if I felt perfectly happy and content right now, then I wouldn't be trying to grow and find my own corner of the sky..you know? So maybe being frustrated and uncontent isn't a bad thing; it's just a thing. And it will pass, and I will grow up, and I will find my joy.
In yoga class my teacher always said to look into yourself and see who you are and how you feel at that exact moment, and without trying to change it or judging it, to accept it, love it, and move on. I realize I've been grasping for this imaginary Malia who exists in the possible future, instead of seeing who I am right now and accepting that I am enough.
Right now, I am outside, the sun is shining, I cooked two things today (!), I have a flower in my hair, and I'm watching my sister and dog play. I feel content in this moment and I'm happy for that!
Happy it's summer!
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Saturday, June 26, 2010
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