I'm feeling...optimistic.
After a while of having kind of having a hard time adjusting to a new place, new people all around me, a mind-warping breakup,and trying to figure out some kind of independence, I think I'm starting to realize that it's all going to be OK if I just keep my head up high and stay true to myself.
When things get tough, I'll always have someone to talk to, someone to pray to, someone to help me out. And I'll always have myself--I'm stronger than I often give myself credit for.
This week, I've been happier than I have in a long time. This could be because of any number of things, but I'd rather not overanalyze it. I'm just taking it one day at a time, and that mind set has helped. Moment to moment balance.
I hope everyone is safe tonight. Take care of yourselves.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
To Light the Night, To Help us Grow
I have had this beautiful song stuck in my head all day. It is just the prettiest song I think I've ever heard! "Little House" by Amanda Seyfried. It's on youtube--go listen to it and sob because you've seen Dear John and your heart just wants to break into a million pieces and love is the most beautiful thing in the world!
I just want to say this: I love weird people. I love people who are so freakin weird that they bring a guitar with them wherever they go and pretty soon everyone at rehearsal is singing "Let the Sunshine In" and dancing. Being around people like that makes my soul a little glow-y.
And we're all like that, aren't we? We all have weird thoughts running through our heads all the time, far-off dreams that we wouldn't dare tell anybody. I think the world would be a better place if we all just let our freak flags fly. "Be yourself with as much tender intensity as you can muster"--the best horoscope I ever read.
In tenth grade my choir teacher talked to us about "the coolness cop." The coolness cop is the little (or big) voice in your head that stops you from trying, stops you from sharing, stops you from doing anything that you think would make you look less "cool". You know that really awkward feeling you get when you want to do something but something inside you makes you nervous? So then you don't do it and you feel less like yourself and a little ashamed at letting that awkward feeling get the best of you (because my god, who cares?). It's the coolness cop. Well, he told us we need to ignore the coolness cop--recognize it, and then say no thank you, I'm going to just be myself. And that was one of the most valuble lessons I learned in school (or in tenth grade choir class, anyway).
Just things I've been thinking lately.
Also I keep having this feeling that my body is going to jump out my skin. Is that normal?
I just want to say this: I love weird people. I love people who are so freakin weird that they bring a guitar with them wherever they go and pretty soon everyone at rehearsal is singing "Let the Sunshine In" and dancing. Being around people like that makes my soul a little glow-y.
And we're all like that, aren't we? We all have weird thoughts running through our heads all the time, far-off dreams that we wouldn't dare tell anybody. I think the world would be a better place if we all just let our freak flags fly. "Be yourself with as much tender intensity as you can muster"--the best horoscope I ever read.
In tenth grade my choir teacher talked to us about "the coolness cop." The coolness cop is the little (or big) voice in your head that stops you from trying, stops you from sharing, stops you from doing anything that you think would make you look less "cool". You know that really awkward feeling you get when you want to do something but something inside you makes you nervous? So then you don't do it and you feel less like yourself and a little ashamed at letting that awkward feeling get the best of you (because my god, who cares?). It's the coolness cop. Well, he told us we need to ignore the coolness cop--recognize it, and then say no thank you, I'm going to just be myself. And that was one of the most valuble lessons I learned in school (or in tenth grade choir class, anyway).
Just things I've been thinking lately.
Also I keep having this feeling that my body is going to jump out my skin. Is that normal?
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Sky Bridge to the IMA
I love my yoga class. I LOVE it. It's one of those simple things that you pay for with your own money you got for Christmas that you go to just for yourself that just makes you really happy.
I always walk in there all stressed out and tense, but after the hour I feel wonderful and loose and like I really can do it. There are a ton of old people in my class--and I mean the elderly, not just a nineteen year old calling a 40-year-old old--and I think that is just so cool. I hope when I'm elderly and creaky, I'll be going to a yoga class. It's kind of inspiring.
To get to the gym, there's a big bridge thing with all these steps you take to the top that takes you right over all the cars and everything, and then you make your way back down the steps to the gym's path. In my head I like to call it the Sky Bridge to the IMA. This amuses me endlessly, for some reason. When I walk on it, I always imagine this colorful musical scene where people are singing a song...called "Sky Bridge to the IMA." It has a very similar tune to "Jesus Christ Superstar" but more in the style of Xanadu.
Anyways. Here are some lessons yoga has taught me I was thinking about today:
"Moment to Moment Balance": This is something my yoga teacher always says when she has us do a challenging balance pose. It means that you don't worry about the end result; you just focus on what your body is telling you now, with every movement you make. When you can balance on one move, you can move on to the next.
It's the same as with life: why do I worry about what I can't see in the distant future when I should be focused on who I am right now and balancing this moment in my life so I can move on to the next?
"Every Body is Different": This is something both my yoga teachers always say whenever we do any pose. They tell me not worry; that if I can't do something someone else can, it's OK because I am a different body than them. I'll get there in time; even if I don't that's OK. It's more important to just be me and respect myself.
"Breathe": Stop stressing out about things. Breathe deeply, through your whole body, and let your body relax. Things will come and you'll be fine; just breathe.
Here's what's Important: Breathing. Smiling at people. Loving people. Not discriminating who you think you should be friends with; let people surprise you. Beign who you are and saying what you feel--if anybody minds than be your self anyway (screw them!). Do whatever the heck makes you happy. And ask for help when you need it.
I always walk in there all stressed out and tense, but after the hour I feel wonderful and loose and like I really can do it. There are a ton of old people in my class--and I mean the elderly, not just a nineteen year old calling a 40-year-old old--and I think that is just so cool. I hope when I'm elderly and creaky, I'll be going to a yoga class. It's kind of inspiring.
To get to the gym, there's a big bridge thing with all these steps you take to the top that takes you right over all the cars and everything, and then you make your way back down the steps to the gym's path. In my head I like to call it the Sky Bridge to the IMA. This amuses me endlessly, for some reason. When I walk on it, I always imagine this colorful musical scene where people are singing a song...called "Sky Bridge to the IMA." It has a very similar tune to "Jesus Christ Superstar" but more in the style of Xanadu.
Anyways. Here are some lessons yoga has taught me I was thinking about today:
"Moment to Moment Balance": This is something my yoga teacher always says when she has us do a challenging balance pose. It means that you don't worry about the end result; you just focus on what your body is telling you now, with every movement you make. When you can balance on one move, you can move on to the next.
It's the same as with life: why do I worry about what I can't see in the distant future when I should be focused on who I am right now and balancing this moment in my life so I can move on to the next?
"Every Body is Different": This is something both my yoga teachers always say whenever we do any pose. They tell me not worry; that if I can't do something someone else can, it's OK because I am a different body than them. I'll get there in time; even if I don't that's OK. It's more important to just be me and respect myself.
"Breathe": Stop stressing out about things. Breathe deeply, through your whole body, and let your body relax. Things will come and you'll be fine; just breathe.
Here's what's Important: Breathing. Smiling at people. Loving people. Not discriminating who you think you should be friends with; let people surprise you. Beign who you are and saying what you feel--if anybody minds than be your self anyway (screw them!). Do whatever the heck makes you happy. And ask for help when you need it.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Hold On to Your Mice: Malia's Blogging!
I decided to start a blog. Probably because I've been deeply obssessed with Julie & Julia lately (the movie, mostly. I really like the book but...will the real Julie Powell please sit down?? She is cray-zay). Unlike her blog, I doubt mine will catapult me into instant fame and fortune, but...a girl can dream, can't she?
(A brief digression--already: One of my favorite parts about college just happened. Me: *mouth-full of wheat-thins* Are you Hindu? My roommate: Yes. Me: Cool.)
Anyways. I just really wanted to start a blog. And I know no one (NO ONE) will read it but that is just A-OK with me. I kind of like the thought of sending all my weird thoughts/agonizing dreams out into the cyber void for all to read, because...well might as well make the most out of all this creepy technology right? We're like the only time period that can do stuff like this.
So let's just have an Introductory Blog. I'm Malia. My blog is called Snow. White. and has a picture of Snow White on it because I am the palest, brunettest, most naive, sing-songiest, floatiest, hopeless-ist romantic-ist person I and all who know me have ever met--kinda like...you get the picture!
I daydream a lot. A. Lot. Like I have a whole world of my own in my head that I'm the queen over. I think this worries my mom, but don't worry Mom. I also live in reality--which is why I like to daydream. I don't really understand why it's socially unacceptable to burst into song when emotion becomes unbearable to carry, but I don't understand a lot of things!
I'm a freshman at the UW and I'm kind of freaking out about it. I was the most excited person for college I've ever seen, and now I'm the most soul-crushed person by college I've ever seen. Probably because of all the daydreaming. But maybe a little soul-crushing now and then is healthy. Because I am also one of those people who can see the light at the end of any tunnel. And I see a big one glimmering at the end of this one.
I really like writing in my journal, reading books, coloring pictures, singing, acting, doing yoga, etc...yes I can be a bit of an introvert. But I also love taking my little socially awkward self out to mix with all the other socially awkward people college is teeming with. And I love hanging out with my family. My mom and sister are basically my BFFs. And my daddy is still my hero. And my brother...well, we love Connor.
So, that's me. I guess. Lord knows I'm still trying to figure out who I am! So, at this point in time--this is what I have been compelled to write about myself. And now my blog has become long-winded and all about myself so now, no one will read it FOR REAL.
Plus I have an early class tomorrow and I'm up way too late.
Blog at y'all laytah!
(A brief digression--already: One of my favorite parts about college just happened. Me: *mouth-full of wheat-thins* Are you Hindu? My roommate: Yes. Me: Cool.)
Anyways. I just really wanted to start a blog. And I know no one (NO ONE) will read it but that is just A-OK with me. I kind of like the thought of sending all my weird thoughts/agonizing dreams out into the cyber void for all to read, because...well might as well make the most out of all this creepy technology right? We're like the only time period that can do stuff like this.
So let's just have an Introductory Blog. I'm Malia. My blog is called Snow. White. and has a picture of Snow White on it because I am the palest, brunettest, most naive, sing-songiest, floatiest, hopeless-ist romantic-ist person I and all who know me have ever met--kinda like...you get the picture!
I daydream a lot. A. Lot. Like I have a whole world of my own in my head that I'm the queen over. I think this worries my mom, but don't worry Mom. I also live in reality--which is why I like to daydream. I don't really understand why it's socially unacceptable to burst into song when emotion becomes unbearable to carry, but I don't understand a lot of things!
I'm a freshman at the UW and I'm kind of freaking out about it. I was the most excited person for college I've ever seen, and now I'm the most soul-crushed person by college I've ever seen. Probably because of all the daydreaming. But maybe a little soul-crushing now and then is healthy. Because I am also one of those people who can see the light at the end of any tunnel. And I see a big one glimmering at the end of this one.
I really like writing in my journal, reading books, coloring pictures, singing, acting, doing yoga, etc...yes I can be a bit of an introvert. But I also love taking my little socially awkward self out to mix with all the other socially awkward people college is teeming with. And I love hanging out with my family. My mom and sister are basically my BFFs. And my daddy is still my hero. And my brother...well, we love Connor.
So, that's me. I guess. Lord knows I'm still trying to figure out who I am! So, at this point in time--this is what I have been compelled to write about myself. And now my blog has become long-winded and all about myself so now, no one will read it FOR REAL.
Plus I have an early class tomorrow and I'm up way too late.
Blog at y'all laytah!
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